How deeply do you trust? If your answer is “I trust…sometimes, kinda, not really”, you are not alone. It’s not our fault that we are taught to fear our own intuition in every area of our lives.

Well-meaning parents who think they know what’s best for you, diet culture that makes you suspicious and fearful of your own body, advertising that triggers that what you have isn’t enough….you start to question if you should be trusted with living your own life.

And it’s not just systemic suspicions that prevent us from trusting deeper; it’s also our own experience. Everyone knows what it feels like to experience broken trust. A friend that let you down, a partner who cheated on you, a parent that made a promise they couldn’t keep, a co-founder who screwed you over. There are so many instances where life tells you NOT to trust. We learn that trust = pain.

However, living in constant distrust and fear of our own wisdom actually limits us from accessing one of our greatest tools. Luckily, trust in our intuition can be repaired, strengthened and wielded for our highest good.

But how do we do this? Well, there are 3 trust relationships we should be nurturing: trust in yourself, trust in others, and trust in something greater than yourself.

1. Trust in Yourself

Are you someone who questions every little decision? Carefully asking all your friends/family/boss before hesitatingly moving forward? If so, you might consider nourishing self-trust.

Before you trust anyone else, the trust you build with yourself is the most important step in your personal journey. This is ground zero of how you see the world, make decisions, and move through life. Without trust in yourself, you second-guess everything, you rely heavily on external sources of validation, and make decisions not in alignment with your values.

When you lead from a place of self-trust, you’ll be able to feel secure in your decisions and confidently move forward. You’ll understand that the world around you will change and flow, that some things are outside of your control, but deep down you know that “you’ve got you” and all will be fine.

How to build more trust in yourself:

• Space: Create some time for reflection either through meditation, journaling, or personal development experiences like Re:Boot to start becoming familiar with your intuition.
• Time: If you’re someone who spends a lot of time with other people, constantly busy, or can’t sit still, you’re actually silencing your own voice because you never give it a chance to speak up. I challenge you to build in at least 1 day/week where you make no plans, you sit with your thoughts, go for walks, and journal things that come up for you.
• Listen: Surprisingly, there are actually several voices in our head. There is the pre-programmed voice of the “critic” with its harsh words, scolding us, and guilting us when we make a mistake. This is NOT our intuitive voice. The voice that shows up for your best friends, the voice you use to speak to the ones you love. THAT voice is the voice of your intuition. The one that says “Don’t worry, you’ve got this. All will be well.” I encourage you to listen deeply to this voice and turn up their volume while lovingly quieting the volume of the “critic”. This all takes time, so be patient as you practice switching the voice in your head to the loving intuitive voice.

2. Trust in Others

Do you feel like people are generally untrustworthy? Do you think you’re the only one you can trust? Do you assume that other people will let you down? You probably find yourself creating back-up solutions “just in case” someone doesn’t follow-through on their promise. If you’re feeling that way, perhaps it’s time to build trust in others.

Putting trust in others can be a challenge when you’ve been let down/hurt so many times in the past. I can relate deeply to this because growing up, I could never trust my parents to take care of me, so I became an “adult” quite quickly and found it difficult to let others in. This perspective isolated me from receiving love and support from friends and family that could have shared the burden or allowed me to build trust in others sooner. Luckily, it’s never too late to build trust in others.

When you lead from a place of trust in others, people will notice and respond accordingly. The deeper you trust in others, the more compassion you’ll feel for yourself and your fellow humans. Life will start to feel like a team sport, where everyone is playing along.

How to build more trust in others:

• Intuition: I’m not saying you should give every single person your trust, no matter what. There are some people who might actively try to hurt you, and it’s important that you check-in with your intuition. This is why building up the trust in yourself is an important step for trusting in others. If your intuition is communicating that something is “off”, listen and allow your wisdom to guide you to those you can trust.
• Trust Loop: Have you ever smiled at a stranger and they instantly smile back? Trust is the same thing. If you extend it out first, it’s likely that trust will be returned and reciprocated. Psychologically, when you say to someone, “I trust you”, the responsibility shifts to the receiver to make the statement “I am a trustworthy person” true. Thus, the trust feedback loop is created. Will there be people in the future who will let you down? Sure. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that you at least did your part to start the trust feedback loop.
• Expand: Sometimes beginning with a smaller group of people you can trust and expanding slowly outwards could be helpful. If you’re having trouble trusting in others in general, start with nourishing and strengthening the trust you DO have with those closest to you. Practice trusting more frequently with the people already in your life. For example, are there times you don’t trust your best friend to plan your next vacation? Practice letting go and trusting. Maybe even verbalizing it to them, “Thank you for planning, I trust you completely” will put the energy out there for them to fulfill that truth.

3. Trust in Something Greater Than Yourself

If you trust in yourself and others, what more is there to trust in?

Having trust in yourself and others is wonderful in building community and compassion for your fellow man. However, humans are not the only living thing that exists in this world. We are just one species occupying the same universe as other animals, plants, energies, and beyond.

Building trust in something greater than ourselves propels us from survival to greatness. I’m sure you’ve all heard the story of the mother who was able to lift up a car because her crying baby was wedged under the wreck. The love for her child allowed her to tap into superhuman strength. This amazing feat only happens when we think beyond ourselves.

Whether it’s God, the universe, humanity, your mission or family…..putting trust in something greater than ourselves expands our capabilities far beyond what’s possible on the individual/collective level.

How to build trust in something greater than yourself:

• Gratefulness: A simple way to notice little miracles in your life begins with a gratefulness practice. The more you notice all the gifts you’re being given every day, the more you realize how magical this world truly is. You’ll begin to expand your awareness beyond just your immediate world, and open up to the grace you’re being given from beyond.
• Love: To love someone deeply, fully, and with no requirement. There is no better proof of life beyond ourselves than when we LOVE. Not just romantic love, but love for yourself, family, community, earth, nature, the world. Love is ever-expanding, and that is truly universal.
• Nature: Have you noticed how calm and childlike you feel when you’re watching a sunset, climbing a mountain, or watching animals play? Nature is an easy way to observe the movements of energy working seamlessly, beautifully, and in perfect harmony. We are not on this earth to simply work, survive, and die. We are here for all of us, sharing this beautiful planet we get to call home. I encourage you to spend more time in nature, breathe, slow down, observe.

As you begin to develop trust in these areas, you’ll notice a shift in how quickly and confidently you navigate your life. You question less, you silence doubt, and there will be an ease with which you move forward in your life.

Sending you all the courage to strengthen the bonds of trust, love and compassion on your journey, and trust that we’ll all find our way home together. I’d love to hear more about your journey with trust below!